Jon and I spend a lot of time together. We travel and live in the RV. We work on tiny desks by the end of our bed. We spend our free time sampling the best-reviewed restaurants and coffee shops around the United States. We know how the other one slurps their coffee. Their morning routine, favorite snacks, and fidget items. We are TOGETHER people.
Once in a while, Jon’s contract will entail him traveling onsite to a warehouse to help implement the software his team has been developing. This time he is traveling for about 3 weeks. His absence has left a void in our routine. Tootsie the Terrier just doesn’t seem so interested in hearing about my day. She lets me brain dump too, but answers by licking her bum which leads me to feel not only unheard, but a tad insulted.
This time apart has allowed me some space to think about me.
I am using this time to connect in with my deepest desires and to ask God, or the Loving Essence, to really bubble up for me how I can grow as a woman and in my relationship. Just so you know I still haven’t heard “Oh, you have reached the finish line, no more growing or changing, or being uncomfortable for you from this moment on. Nice work!” So, we are on the same journey if you and I choose to take our next leap of faith.
There are the usual words of wisdom for me about making time to write, to exercise, yada yada. Peel back another layer and it is about believing my own truth above anyone else’s. Whew. Didn’t see that one coming. Don’t I do that already?
I argue, but I took a leap of faith and sold my life to live and travel in this RV. I taught my children through places, and people, and adventures. I created a public art project of a butterfly on the outside of my RV while strangers walked over to put me down. I wore dreadlocks in my hair for two years. Don’t these count for something?
Of course, they count. And all of those leaps of faith strengthened me. Each example brought me more confidence to shine brighter and brought more joy and connection into my life. They are the reminders of how rewarding it is to be who you are and do what you want to do. These would be the examples on the slideshow to sell me on the next adventure.
My default setting just happens to engage when something scary begins tugging at my heart. The fears press in. The opinions of others and experts begin to speak louder and my heart becomes a whisper. What if I fail? What if I put in all of this work and I don’t see the success I envision? What if…
And then I challenge those thoughts and questions. The fear.
I turn off the outside chaos and noise. I quiet myself and really listen to the whisper. It feels right. I hold it. I nurture it. I only share it with those who will love it too.
I invite in the Loving Essence who will take care of the outcomes for me. I begin to walk in faith once more. Faith in my truth.
I am the expert of my life.
You are the expert of your life Brave One. Let’s journey together.
(photo by Rita Morais)