In this episode of our marriage podcast Something Like Marriage, we talk about creating safe spaces for loving conversation in your relationship. We cover three main ways to create a loving space – decide your loving guidelines, choose a physical space, and an emotionally safe space.
Here is an example of the loving guidelines we have created.
- No yelling.
- No swearing.
- No blaming.
- No threatening divorce or abandonment.
- No leaving.
- No using what is shared to hurt the person in the future.
Physical Space Considerations
- a space without distractions, TV or kids.
- set a time of day as a cut-off for having deep discussions.
- a private space or a public space.
- relaxed postures, not one person standing over another.
- what environment feels the most loving – couch, table, in bed, outside.
Emotional Safe Space Considerations
As the speaker:
• Using I statements I feel ____ when this happens.
• Avoid using “you” to place blame on the other person.
• Keep the sharing about your thoughts and feelings.
As the listener:
• be in a state of no judgment.
• open to let the other person talk without interruption.
• open body language.
• share your reactions in a loving way. You may feel sad to hear what is being shared. You can simply state, I feel sad ________.
• You can own a behavior.
• You can ask a question.
• You can affirm their sharing. “I understand what you are saying. I hear you saying… Of course, you are feeling…”
(Theme music: Ethan Anderson, Photo credit: Hutomo Abrianto)
Stream “Safe Spaces for Loving Conversation”
Relationship Podcast Gems:
- Create a safe space that is unique to your relationship and feels the most loving.
- Creating a safe space is important for having meaningful conversations.
- Robins will build nests on your ladder if given the opportunity.
Your Next Steps:
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