Answering the question about why do men hide their feelings, and challenging this idea. We also relate how men and women are alike in not sharing their vulnerable feelings such as sadness, shame, guilt, and fear. Culture seems to have a role to play in what are acceptable emotions for a man to express.
As children, we expressed a spectrum of feelings as emotional beings. When we were happy we screamed with delight, laughed, and jumped up and down. When we were sad we cried, had tantrums, and yelled. Somewhere along the way some of us learned certain emotions were okay to share such as anger or joy, and others were to be controlled.
Why do men hide their feelings? Jon talks about how he learned early on it wasn’t safe to share those vulnerable feelings such as sadness because it would be meddled with in some way. As his wife, I wasn’t safe to share those feelings with for quite some time. We had to learn how to identify our feelings, express them, and to be safe for one another. Our first practice took place with strangers.
When discussing why do men hide their feelings, it seems men and women are more alike than different. We can learn how to share those more vulnerable feelings with one another in a safe space and create a more intimate relationship.
(Theme music: Ethan Anderson, Photo credit: Ben Rosett)
Stream “Why Do Men Hide Their Feelings?”
Relationship Podcast Gems:
- Men and women both share some feelings but maybe not all of their authentic feelings.
- Jon learned to share his vulnerable feelings when he – learned the vocabulary, connected in with his feelings, and had a safe place to practice sharing them first with strangers and then with me.
- First, we make the change for ourselves, then in our relationship, and lastly we can change our parenting.
- Accept the feelings, acknowledge them, and then they can be released.
- If we keep in our feelings, our body takes them on until they are released.
- Jon finds his body is an honest measurement of how he is doing emotionally.
- Share with your partner/spouse that you want to know their deeper emotions.
- Someone has to begin the uncomfortable conversation to create more intimacy.
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